


A Million Pieces

by jasondarke



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Cyberpunk, F/M, Inspired by Cyberpunk 2077, Nomad V (Cyberpunk 2077), Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28750176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasondarke/pseuds/jasondarke
Summary: A continuation of the Male V/Panam romance ending in Cyberpunk 2077.V & Panam leave Night City and travel to Arizona with the Aldecaldos, persistently searching for a remedy for his condition, whilst developing their blossoming relationship.V struggles to wrap his head round his imminent impermanence, and contemplates whether he is striving to survive for himself, or for Panam and the Aldecaldos.
Relationships: Panam Palmer & Male V, Panam Palmer/Male V, Romance - Relationship, aldecaldo
Comments: 13
Kudos: 57





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have loved investing time reading my way through many fan fics on this, and CDPR have always been at the top of the game when it comes to creating characters that you truly feel connected to. I felt this with the storyline of Panam and V.  
> Therefore, I decided to write up my very own fan fiction of where I'd like to see their story go. My first 'published' work! Please review and let me know what you think, I will accept all criticism good and bad.  
> I am trying to write this from the perspective of my V when I played through the story as him. I like to think of him as struggling hard with survivors guilt amongst other things post-ending, and I am trying to leave out the smut.  
> Thank you, and peace and love to all.

** A MILLION PIECES: CHAPTER 1. BY JASON DARKE **

V exhaled a sigh as he sat on the ridge overlooking the camp under the night sky.

There was a concoction of emotions going on inside his head. Almost like the components to a cocktail.

Primarily, there was fear. The fear that he wouldn’t get to spend anywhere near as much time with Panam and the Aldecaldos as he wanted to, provided they couldn’t find a cure. Then there was the ebullience as he observed the bustling Aldecaldo camp below. Faint ambience of bottles clinking, laughter and an acoustic guitar floated in the air. There was the sensation of love as he glanced over to Panam, perched to his right holding a half empty bottle of Broheem lager. His stomach always knotted up when he looked at her. She sat a few feet away from him with her legs hung over the ridge looking down onto the camp. She gazed watchfully over the camp as a mother would do for her brood. Finally, there was the sour feeling of anxiety once he prompted himself of his condition and the perpetual doomsday clock that seemed to be ticking down in his mind.

This cocktail of emotions amalgamated itself the same way everyday for the last few weeks he’d been on the road with the Aldecaldos. It overwhelmed him, and he gently smiled to himself, comparing it to Jackie’s cocktail at the Afterlife, and wondered what his old friend might have thought of it.

He sighed again.

Panam scooted over and gently gripped V's forearm. Her touch was endearing as he turned to look at her. The night sky illuminated her face. The stars beamed into her eyes like ice skaters dancing around two frozen lakes of honey.

‘Enny for your thoughts?’ Panam ventured.

A smile grew across V’s face.

‘Panam… I…. uh…. This is great’

He brought his hand over and weaved his fingers through hers.

‘Its perfect in fact…. It’s just….. it’s just a horrible feeling thinking there might not be a lot of time left’

V dropped his head

‘I…. I’m fuckin’ scared Panam…’

He meant this. He had never felt this way about anyone in his life, but if these are to be his last months left, at least he was with her.

Panam released her hand from his and instead brought both up to grab V’s head and turn it to face hers.

‘V, you need to stop thinking this way, because we WILL find a way to get this fixed.’

Her eyes were locked onto his.

‘I… I know Panam. But we need to talk about if we can’t. I don’t want to spend the end being some kind of fuckin’ vegetable you and the family are running round after’

V’s focus went from Panam’s eyes to the camp below. The light from the campfire poured through the jagged edges of the vehicles and tents that dotted around the area of the camp and found its way up to them and lit up the underside of their bodies.

‘I… I walk around the camp, and I see the way some of them look at me, ever since Arasaka…’

V paused for a moment.

‘… I know they blame me for the losses, all the shit that happened… .. and let’s be honest, they’re not wrong. They’re gonna end up looking after a dead man walking’

Panam frowned for a moment, and V felt her hands around his head firm up before she replied.

‘Mikoshi… Arasaka…. it wasn’t just for you, it was for the benefit of the clan. Everyone knew the risks. Everyone knew the rewards’ She said resolutely. ‘ _Saul_ knew….’

V’s head turned back and his eyes fixed back onto Panam’s. He was never good at talking about how he felt, or how to say it.

‘I…. I’d do anything for you… and for this family’

Panams frown subsided momentarily and her head tilted to the left. A smile flashed over her face.

‘You are and always will be a member of this family. No one has forgot what you’ve done for us.’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘…for me’

V sighed again

‘I…. I just…’ V’s vision went hazy and Panam interrupted before he could finish.

‘Shit V….’

He felt the pain again in his head, it made him wince. He knew the pain all too well and he tasted that familiar metallic taste of blood in his mouth. He brought his hand to his face and wiped the blood away from under his nose and looked at Panam again. It was that horrible way she looked at him whenever this happened, one of the rare times he sees genuine worry on her face.

‘V… are you ok?’ She steadied him as he swayed.

‘I… fuck I… I’m ok, I’m gonna hit the sack..’

She still did not take her eyes off of him.

‘I’ll walk with you’

She stood, put her jacket back on and watched V climb to his feet, unsure whether to help him up or not.

They both headed back down the ridge towards the camp in silence, Panam not leaving his side. Before they merged back into the main camp, Panam grabbed his arm. V stopped and turned to face her, the same worried look on her face. His stomach knotted up again when she squared up to him, cupped his face in her hands, and sank deeply into him with a kiss. The kiss was strong and firm and V found himself sinking back into her. Panam stepped away from V and looked at him.

‘Get some rest, and remember I am here for you V. Always.’ She gazed into his eyes and kissed him again, tenderly. She stepped away from him, holding his hand for as far as he could reach before she let go and walked back towards the camp. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she sauntered away.

 _Damn_.

V stood for a moment to take it all in. The sound of laughter and clinking glasses filled the makeshift alleyways of the camp.

He pulled out his handgun, Johnny’s Malorian 3516.

He had bonded to it since he started using it and hasn’t used anything else since. No other iron seemed to suit him the way Johnny’s did. _The old bastard had taste_ he thought to himself and smirked. Part of him expected Johnny to pop up and make a witty remark about V’s opinion of his iron, but he was nowhere to be seen.

He pressed the mag release and dropped the magazine into his off hand, and popped a single bullet out and into the palm of his hand. He held the round up to get a better look. The shine of the night sky winked at him off of the surface of the round.

If the Aldecaldo’s contacts didn’t yield any results, there was no way he was putting Panam and the family through the ordeal of what would be his last days. He had no idea what to expect when he would succumb, but he imagined it wouldn’t be pretty, and Panam had enough to do and people to be responsible for. The last thing she would need is to have a nearly dead gonk sat in one of the tents waiting to have his piss cleaned up for him.

 _No way_.

He stood and looked at the round for a moment. He smirked and remembered how good he was at surviving a bullet to the head. He shook his head, loaded the bullet back into the magazine, and in turn fed the magazine back into the handgun and holstered it. He sighed again, and decided to turn in. He headed back over to his tent.

He could just about see the campfire from the entrance of his tent. There, he saw the Aldecaldos drinking, talking and singing around the fire. He saw Mitch and Panam talking together. His stomach knotted again at the sight of her. In that moment, he reminded himself of the final ingredient to his cocktail. The ingredient he thought was dangerous to invest his emotions into. The ingredient that seemed to wash away the rest.

_Hope._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you if you're still here after chapter 1. Here's the 2nd!

A MILLION PIECES CHAPTER 2

V’s sleep was broken and agitated. The same as it always had been. Nightmares bobbled around memories in his head that he had tried to quash. His mind performed these to him like a movie theatre, forcing him to sit and re-enact them. All the people lost along the way because of him. Jackie, T-Bug, Goro, Evelyn, Saul… how many more would have to suffer on his crusade to restore his existence? Deep at the back of his mind was the incapacitating fear that he would eventually have to pay the ultimate price. Panam.  
The guilt was tremendous.  
V shot up from his sleep drenched in sweat and with a lump in his throat, his Malorian 4516 in his hand and thumb resting against the safety as he instinctively checked on Panam. She was already up and gone it seemed. He decelerated his breathing, took a gulp and composed himself. He wiped the perspiration off his brow with his off hand before releasing an audible, alleviating sigh. It wasn’t the first time he woke up like this, and certainly wouldn’t be the last. He laid the gun down.  
Sunlight spilled in through the opening of the tent. It was early morning, and the sensation of hunger speared its way into V’s stomach. He swung his legs to the side, clambered to his feet, got dressed and buttoned on his chest holster. He picked up the handgun off the bed and sheathed it safely into the holster, feeling completed in the way a samurai would feel with his sword. He headed over to the opening and emerged from the tent and into the camp. He grimaced as the glowing sunshine besieged his sight. As his optics adjusted, he saw in front of him the camp he saw from the night before. The campfire and set up from the night before were nowhere to be seen, and instead Aldecaldos weaved through the camp with an efficient, yet relaxed demeanour. Every Aldecaldo seemed to have a purpose. A job to be getting on with. Smiles adorned the faces of each one as they passed each other, nodding lovingly at each other as they crossed paths. V struggled to get his head round it.   
It couldn’t be any further from the culture he experienced in Night City.  
A small smile flashed across V’s face. The emotion cocktail started again….  
‘’What’s got ya so happy then?’’  
Mitch Anderson’s voice was a surprise, but a welcome one. He walked up to V and clamped his organic hand on his shoulder with a smile.  
‘‘uh… hey Mitch’’ V replied. His eyes still squinting slightly from the sunlight.  
‘‘Hey, Panam said you weren’t too preem last night. Everything alright?’’ Mitch enquired, hand still on V’s shoulder.  
‘’Yeah I’m fine. Just uh… just the usual’’ he shot a smirk at Mitch, which he reciprocated.  
‘’Well if ya fine, ya better start looking busy before Panam catches you dillydallyin’!’’ He said with a wink. He spoke in jest, but V understood the message Mitch was really sending.  
‘’Hey, where is Panam anyways?’’ V asked.  
Mitch took his hand off V’s shoulder.  
‘’She was in the command truck. She had a new lead she was working on’’  
Mitch seemed ever so slighty awkward, as if trying to work out how to articulate what he was about to say next.  
‘’She’s worried about ya V. We all are. Just want ya to know we’re here to help you. We’re family. I know Arasaka was a shitshow, but we got through it and we’re still here. You’re family and we’d have done the same for anything else’’  
Mitch was never this candid. Immediately V had his suspicions Panam had divulged to Mitch what V had confided in her on the peak the night before.  
‘’Not all of us are….’’ V countered, his head dropping sightly.  
Mitch smiled at him sympathetically, gave V a friendly shake and headed off to join up with another pair of Aldecaldos that ambled by, breaking into a slight jog to catch up and help with the weight of a large case. They snaked away and out of sight. V’s stomach pranged again. He exhaled, and started to make his way to the mess truck.

V finally realised exactly what Panam meant on their final car journey away from Night City when she said she’d miss the food. Breakfast was a cold porridge cooked the night before. Salted but unsweetened. He wasn’t ungrateful, work had gone into providing food for the clan, but he did miss Tom’s Diner. God he missed Tom’s Diner. He sat himself down and dug in. He continued to watch the Aldecaldo operation as he worked his way through his breakfast, again caught up in his cocktail of emotions. It was just the way they existed. They seemed so happy with their lot. So free.  
He felt a unique kind of anxiety, as if he was procrastinating when there should be something urgent to be getting on with. The way he’d felt during his whole time in Night City. He managed to get down to the last few scrapes of his porridge when the legs of the chair next to him scraped along the floor. He turned to see Panam sit on the chair, and drag it over closer to him. V’s stomach pranged, but this time not from hunger as she placed her hand on his lap and smiled at him.  
‘’Hey, how are you feeling?’’ She enquired. V gulped down his last mouthful.  
‘’I’m OK. Everything ok with you? I didn’t notice you were gone this morning’’ V replied.  
‘’Yeah you were gonked out’’ she chuckled, but her expression soon tightened up.  
‘’When you’re ready, come and see me over at the command truck, I’ve got something I want to run by you’’  
She stood, framed his face with her hands and planted a kiss on his temple. He almost melted as he felt her lips against the side of his head. She smiled at him, squeezed his shoulder and slipped away back into camp. V’s eyes never left her as she walked away. He smirked to himself. There they were again, that same cocktail of emotions.

V climbed up the stairs to the main floor of the command truck. Panam was stood hands planted over the centre console, her faced scrunched up with concentration. The scrunch alleviated into a smile the moment she saw V standing in front of her.   
‘’Hey….’’  
‘’….Hey’’ V replied. His smile matched hers.  
He walked over and planted his hands onto the opposite side of the console, mirroring her.   
‘’Ok, so about this lead, we’ve got in tou..…’’  
V leant over the console and stole a kiss off her as she spoke. She looked wide eyed at him, and her cheeks started to glow as she smiled into the kiss. She brought her hand up to his face and playfully pushed him away.  
‘’That was for the one I never gave you this morning’’ V smiled.  
‘’You’re such a gonk’’ Her eyes narrowed at him, but her smile lingered. She started to talk again, this time without her eyes leaving V’s in playful anticipation of another attack.  
‘’We’ve got in touch with another Aldecaldo cell. They have information we need and offered us their help, but they’re in a bit of trouble. They are constantly under attack from a cell of Raffen Shiv, who have taken some of their clan hostage. I’ve agreed to help them in exchange for their aid and information. I’m going to arrange a meeting with Tyrell, their leader, to discuss details. Would you come with me?’’  
V didn’t even hesitate.  
‘’Yeah, of course. Whatever you need me to do’’  
She smiled back at him, and took his hand in hers.   
‘’We’re getting closer V’’  
Mitch and Cassidy walked up the stairs  
‘’Hope we’re not interrupting?’’ Quipped Cassidy. Panam scoffed and gestured for them to join them as they started to go through Panam’s plan.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far. Here is chapter 3

A MILLION PIECES CHAPTER 3

V planted his hands on top of the centre console of the Aldecaldo command vehicle and listened to Panam intently.  
‘’Ok, so as I said to V, I’ve made contact with Tyrell, the leader of the local faction of Aldecaldos…’’   
She spoke with candid authority. It seemed to suit her, and V found himself smiling at her, the familiar knots in his stomach starting to manifest again. Mitch and Cassidy looked at her attentively, but not quite the way V did.  
‘’They have been having a lot of trouble with a group that calls themselves the Wolves. They’re a cell of Raffen Shiv operating in this part of Arizona. I’m going to arrange a meeting with Tyrell to discuss a way of working together. He says he can offer us information as well as logistical and financial support but he needs help with these Raffens. Not only that, but they have a few of his family captive. I told him we could help each other’’  
Cassidy’s eyebrow cocked upwards, ‘’And exactly what help have you offered t’ him?’’  
‘’I haven’t committed to anything yet, nor have I told him everything about V’s predicament, only the nature of it. Tyrell believes he has a contact who would be highly attracted to Vs issue.’’ Answered Panam.  
Cassidy’s eyebrow remained cocked as he looked at her cynically. Mitch picked up his look and spoke.  
‘’Sounds as good a lead as any Panam, where’s the meet?’’  
‘’At their camp. I’m taking V with me tomorrow afternoon. I wanted to run it by the two of you first. If the meet goes well and we reach an agreement chances are we’ll be preparing for a potential combat mission to help out their missing family’’  
V felt a subtle dump of adrenaline hit his body and became aware of the weight of his Malorian cushioned in his chest holster. He hadn’t used it in weeks. At least not to take another person’s life. He wasn’t sure if the fleeting adrenaline spike was from elation, or concern. The anxiety was difficult to process. He always felt he was best when there was an iron in his hand, and the prospect of a firefight had his heartrate dashing.  
‘’Ok. Let us know if you want some extra bods to come with tomorrow’’ Cassidy stated.  
Panam smiled and nodded in acknowledgment to the 3 men stood with her, and continued to speak.  
‘’There’s one more thing, there’s a nearby town. About 5 or 6 miles south. It’s abandoned, but our intel tells us Arasaka used the town as a compound to store equipment there during The Unification War. Could be a good hit for a scavenging run.’’ She ruminated.   
Mitch and Cassidy again nodded in mutual approval.  
‘’How ya wanna handle the run? Any intel suggest Raffens there? If this Tyrell is telling the truth about his problem with these Wolves then chances are we could run into a bit of trouble’’ Said Mitch. Again, V jerked at the idea of a probable skirmish.  
‘’We head in at night time, quietly, and with a small team’’ replied Panam.  
‘’You do realise we have a basilisk? We could just drive that straight in there. We’ll scare off any damn Raffens before anyone needs t’ pull out an iron’’ stated Cassidy. V flashed a glance over at Panam at the mention of the tank, and Panam sent a glance back momentarily to meet his, albeit with a different tenor to the look V’s was implying.  
‘’That’s a bad idea’’ Panam countered. ‘’We’ll draw far too much attention to ourselves, especially whilst we’re still establishing ourselves in the area. Sure we might scare off any Raffens, but who’s to say word won’t get out of an Aldecaldo tribe with a basilisk? That kind of attention is the last thing we need. We go this evening’’  
Cassidy and Mitch nodded, agreeing reverentially.   
‘’Ok, who and how?’’ Mitch enquired.  
‘’Me, V, Leo and Mitch. We take 2 vehicles and park them to the south and head into town on foot. Cass I need you to stay and look after the camp with Carol whilst we’re away. We’ll stay on comms’’ instructed Panam.  
Leo. V had only got to know Leo briefly since he left NC with the Aldecaldos. Young, brash and hot headed. It was like looking into a mirror. Leo was a crack shot with a revolver, Cassidy had seen to that by taking him under his wing, but he was yet to see any kind of real action.  
‘’You sure about Leo? He hasn’t seen any proper combat yet? You sure he’ll have our backs?’’ V enquired.  
Cassidy grimaced at V’s scepticism of his protégé, whereas Panam responded with a resplendent neutrality.   
‘’Leo needs some experience, and this would be a great opportunity for him to gain that’’  
V nodded.   
‘’Ok everyone? We meet here at 2300 and head out, get yourselves kitted up. Cass, let Leo know please’’  
‘’Yes ma’am’’ replied Mitch and Cassidy in unison. They turned, departed the truck and merged back into the camp, both lifting their hands to their brows to guard their eyes as soon as the sunlight thumped down onto them, leaving V and Panam on their own.  
V smiled at Panam.  
‘’What?’’ she queried with a frown. V loved the way part of her face rumpled around her brow when she frowned.  
‘’Oh nothing, you’ve got them trained like a fuckin’ military leader. It’s impressive!’’ V teased.  
‘’Hah. I still can’t quite get my head round commanding people twice my age and with twice the experience’’ She said.  
‘’Don’t worry about that Panam. They trust you and listen to you.’’ V replied. He shuffled round the console and draped his arm around the frame of her shoulders and drew her into him. She reciprocated the embrace, and wrapped her arm around his waist, resting her head against his chest. They stood in silence for a minute, enjoying the moment and each other’s company. V’s stomach knotted, the way it always did. Eventually Panam broke the silence and spoke.  
‘’Do you think bringing Leo along tonight was a mistake? I saw the look on Cass’ face.’’  
‘’Nope. Thinkin’ about it, it’s a great idea. The kid’s not a total gonk, and the experience could ripen him up a bit’’ replied V. He couldn’t help but compare Leo to what he was like when he was 18 in the Bakkers. He remembered an attack on their camp, and how he was dragged along by the Bakkers in a retaliation attack and how that seemed to mature him. He hoped giving Leo some similar experience would centre him.  
Panam paused for a moment, then responded with a ‘‘Hmm’’. She pulled out of the embrace and turned her body square to V’s, framed her hands around his face and gazed into his eyes. V met her eyes with his, as she leant forward and kissed his lips softly. V pulled her into his body and melted into her as he kissed her back, the knot in his stomach tightening up. Eventually, they parted, and Panam rested her head against his chest, holding him tight.   
V sought to say those words that were evading him for weeks.   
There never seemed to be the right moment to tell her he loved her. They hadn’t had this exchange yet, and the words were cavorting on the fringe of his tongue.  
‘’Your heart is beating so fast’’ said Panam with a smile, her head still laid on his chest.  
‘’Ha… yeah well uh… that’s just what you do to me’’ replied V, as he raised one hand to cradle the back of her head just underneath her dread bun.  
‘’Panam… I …. Uh….’’ He felt like a child. Panam pulled her head away from the embrace so she could at him, her amber eyes making his knees shaky.  
‘’What’s the matter? Is it happening again?? Fuck V, let me grab a cloth’’ She said uneasily.  
‘’No no… I’m fine honestly, it’s not that. I just uh, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you’’ said V, trying to reassure her. She looked at him and her eyes narrowed inquisitively.  
‘’…Ok. What is it V?’’  
He looked at her standing in front of him obliviously. Was she really completely unmindful to what he was trying to tell her? Perhaps this was the last thing she needed to hear with her still getting her head round being the chief. What is she didn’t feel the same way? What if….  
‘’V?’’ Panam asked, her eyes quizzing him just as much as her speech.   
Fuck it.  
‘’…I love you, Panam.’’ Said V. The immediate sensation of relief was overwhelming, he’d been wanting to say it for ages. Panam looked astonished. Her cheeks flushed into a bold shade of pinky red. Her eyebrows unsure whether to frown or remain elevated.   
‘’ V …. I … uh …. ‘’  
V was frozen. He didn’t know whether to push her for a reply or to wish for the ground to swallow him whole.   
‘’You uh… you don’t have to say anything, and I’m sorry if it’s overwhelming. But it’s just how I feel and I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, especially if I haven’t got long left…’’  
Panam stepped up to him and placed her index finger onto his lips, stopping V from draining any more words out of his mouth. V looked straight at her, her eyes seemed to well up. An unpleasant feeling of anxiety swelled up inside of him, but then a smile flashed across Panam’s face, and she leant into him and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. The anxiety washed away immediately, and Panam again stepped back to look at him and diffused all the tension with 4 words.  
‘’I love you too, V’’ she said gently.  
Relief inundated V’s body, purging the anxiety created from his admission, and he couldn’t help but beam at her with a smile. Panam’s smile also heightened and she chuckled at him. They were acting like schoolchildren.   
‘’You have no idea how good that makes me feel’’ V conceded. Panam scoffed.  
‘’Pffft, fuck V. You’re too smooth for your own good. But thanks for completely taking me by surprise like that, you gonk!’’ He expression relaxed slightly as she bumped his shouder with her fist.  
‘’You know, I have been wanting to have this conversation too.’’ She sighed. ‘’There’s just never been the right moment to approach it with everything that’s been going on. Although you saw to that didn’t you…’’ A roguish smile darted across her face, and she took his hands in hers.  
‘’Listen, I’ve got a lot to do and prep for tonight. I promise we’ll continue this as soon as we can. But for now, get yourself prepped for the mission tonight’’  
‘’Yes ma’am’’ replied V with a smirk. Panam looked at him sarcastically. V turned to walk away, but Panam clutched his arm to twist him back into her again as they shared another kiss. V was jubilant as he turned, left the truck and headed off to prep for the midnight run ahead. As he walked through the camp, he couldn’t stop thinking about Panam. He smirked to himself, imagining the kind of scolding he would get off Johnny If he was still around. But within the delight of the moment, V prompted himself of his imminent impermanence. He found a renewed drive to push and find a resolution to his quandary. If he wasn’t going to do it for himself, he would do it for her. He grasped the grip of his Malorian, and remembered his muse from the night before whilst he stared at the bullet he held up to the night sky. He had to find a way. If not for himself, then for the sake of Panam. He had never put things into perspective this way. It felt uncomfortable putting the needs of others before himself.   
Maybe this is what it meant to be an Aldecaldo.


	4. Chapter 4

A MILLION PIECES CHAPTER 4

BANG

The gunshot reverberated across the sky, echoing as it rolled through the lunar panorama of the Arizona badlands.

As the smoke from the muzzle dissipated, the revolver gently lowered. The radiance of the late afternoon sun revealed the face of a young man. Handsome and youthful - his face was replete with an arrogant confidence. A look of satisfaction washed across his face as he brought up the corner of his mouth to produce a cocky grin. The empty bottle of Broseph lager that sat on a chair 40 yards away was now a broken heap in the sand, the residual fluid already evaporating into the air thanks to the overwhelming heat of the sun. The young man ran a hand through his limp brown hair, pushing it back over the top of his head so that it sat away from his face. A figure emerged from the vehicles on the outskirts of the camp and made his way over.

‘’Hey Leo. Seems Cassidy has been teachin’ you pretty well how to use that that Iron’’ Grinned V as he strolled up and stood next to him. 

‘’Yeah he’s not so bad’’ Chuckled Leo. ‘’I just gotta work on my draw a bit more’’. His voice didn’t sound like it belonged to a 19 year old, it had a younger timbre to it; contrarily V believed his character belonged to a man wiser and older - He had his head screwed on right, he thought. Leo just needed people around him to keep that screw nice and tight.

V observed Leo rehearse unholstering and firing his revolver a few times. He stood up beside Leo and interrupted his 3rd practice draw; to which Leo offered little resistance.

‘’Try not to put so much emphasis on turning your waist when you draw your iron. If it’s speed you’re lookin’ for, all your effort needs to be in the wrist. Watch where you’re grippin’ it too; the lower your hand is around the grip of the revolver, the more the recoil will push the gun up instead of back, which will take you longer to aim again.’’ V instructed. Leo shot a disdainful look his way, but heeded his advice enthusiastically without trying to show it. ‘’Hah! There, that’s a bit better!’’ V exclaimed.  
V stepped back and monitored Leo. He watched as he used his wrist to snap his revolver out from his side holster and obliterate another bottle sat at 50 yards away.

BANG

V’s eyes blinked at the blast of Leo’s overture, smirking as Leo showed satisfaction whilst he took possession of this well-earned knowledge. He flourished his revolver around his hand and slotted it back into his holster, which hung off his waist from his belt - Just like fuckin’ Cassidy V scoffed to himself. If he spent as much time learning how to shoot properly as he did his gunslinger acrobatics, V would have been the one taking shooting lessons from Leo. 

‘’Hey, Cass has told me to get ready for a run tonight?’’ Leo said excitedly.

‘’Heh, don’t get yourself too worked up. Intel says the towns deserted, we’re only looking for supplies. Scavenging run.’’ V replied candidly.

‘’Oh man, I’m excited V! I just wanna do my best to help’’.

‘’I know you do kid. Just try to rein in that trigger finger of yours’’ He brought his hand up and gesticulated his index finger to mimic Leo’s. ‘’And please for your own sake, listen to Panam’’ V winked at Leo.

‘’Yes sir’’ Leo responded with a smile.

V shook his head, still smiling, and turned to head back into camp. The sun started to sink into the horizon. Times ticking – he thought. Before he weaved back into camp, he turned and watched Leo as he practised fervently, labouring on the procedure V had taught him. He smiled to himself with proud satisfaction, again seeing a little bit of himself in Leo, and headed back towards his tent.

V stood in his tent, welcoming the cooling breeze of the night air against his face as it infiltrated through the opening. Arranging across the table a plethora of supplies and stripping himself bare, he decided to keep his loadout as light as possible so the group could move swiftly and quietly. He had done half a dozen or so scavenging runs during his time on the road with the Aldecaldos, and they were usually uneventful aside from one skirmish involving a scrap with a small gang of antagonistic scavengers. It did not end well for said scavengers – Panam, V and Carol made certain of that. Nevertheless, V learned to take these runs seriously and organize himself for a fight. He laid out in front of him a pair of dark combat trousers and a black long sleeved t shirt. The clothes had an abnormally starchy feel to them, almost certainly instigated by the constant humidity and sand present in the air. V wasn’t bothered, he had worse things to worry about, but part of him did somewhat miss the feeling of clean, properly laundered clothes. He pulled up and fastened the belt around his trousers, then pulled the long black T over the top of his head and dragged it down to cover his body and arms - the fit cuddling his athletic physique. He pulled the slide back on his Malorian 3516 and examined the chamber. Crystal clean. He held up the gun, checking the rifling and the rest of the mechanism to complete his assessment. Happy, V slotted in the magazine, outfitted his chest holster and equipped the weapon. He screwed a suppressor onto a Nue pistol and cushioned it into the second holster on the opposite side of his chest. He was somewhat apprehensive using a weapon that wasn’t the 3516, nevertheless he concluded he’d need something a little more discreet if he required it. Content, he filled a hold-all with some extra provisions; food, water and grenades amongst other things. He slung it over his shoulder, turned and left the opening of the tent into the cool air of the night.

Panam flung a duffelbag onto the back seat of the Thorton Mackinaw and swung the door shut. She looked over to the smaller Thorton Little Mule adjacent to her and called to Mitch.

‘’All loaded up Mitch?’’

‘’More or less. We’re all fuelled up and ready to go. I sorted out that shitty wheel bearing on the Mackinaw earlier. Should be plain sailing.’’ Answered Mitch. He leaned on the trunk of the Little Mule. ‘’Leo you got your shit together kid?’’

Leo’s head popped out over the other side of the truck. An excited grin got the better of him and betrayed the resolute demeanour he was trying to adopt in front of his peers.

‘’Yes sir!’’

‘’Good lad’’ retorted Mitch. ‘’Be careful with that fuckin’ revolver! Cassidy ain’t here now for you to play cowboys with. You’re with Uncle Mitch now’’. Leo rolled his eyes, opened the passenger side door and dropped onto the seat.

V’s footsteps traipsed in the sandy ground of the Arizona badlands as he approached. Panam turned around and smiled at him. His stomach knotted.

‘’Hey V, all set?’’ She asked, eyeing up his hold-all.

‘’Hey. Yeah I’m ready. How’s it all looking? We good to go?’’ replied V.

‘’Hell yeah’’ Panam had that smirk that she got when she was excited. ‘’Come on lets get going, I’ll drive.’’ She raised her voice as she called out to the truck behind them. ‘’Mitch, you and Leo follow us?’’

‘’Yes ma’am!’’ responded Mitch.  
He nodded at V and hopped into the drivers seat, slammed the door and the Little Mule’s engine thundered to life - it’s headlights carving through the darkness.  
V tossed his bag into the back of the Mackinaw and walked round to the passenger side to jump in and join Panam, and she fired the engine. V’s seat trembled as the power of the Mackinaw boomed throughout the chassis, and he relished the sensation with an almost childish smile stretched across his face. He looked over to Panam, the various consoles and screen spread across the dash flickered to life and lit up her face as she turned her head to look at V, sharing the same grin – the same juvenile pleasure. Must be a Nomad thing. She revved the engine a few times and pulled away into the darkness and towards their destination.

‘’Hey, how are you feeling?’’ Asked Panam along the way. She left one hand on the steering wheel as she laid the other on V’s lap. Her head glanced over to V and she smiled at him endearingly. V snaked his fingers into hers and gripped her hand.

‘’I… uh… I’m as good as I can be… I think’’ He replied. The question made him fidget a bit. ‘’Panam, I can’t stop thinking about this… thing… going on in my head. The seizures are getting worse, I’m not sleeping properly… It’s the worst feeling not knowing what to do. I’m just… … fuckin’ sat here. Sat in camp. Waiting for people I care about to put themselves in danger for the sake of helping me.’’  
He felt her hand squeeze his, her eyes alternating between focusing on the road and monitoring V.

‘’V. I keep telling you. You’re a part of this family! You’re important to us, and you’re important to me.’’ She paused for a second, taking in a deep breath before continuing. ‘’Besides, your helping now right? Feels good to be riding with you again’’

V smiled and squeezed her hand back. 

‘’Yeah, sure does. Wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else’’ He replied. He hesitated for a moment, enjoying the sensation of his hand weaved through hers before speaking again. ‘’You uh… don’t think I jumped the gun a bit with what I said earlier?’’ It had been eating at him for a while. Panam sighed gently. 

‘’…maybe a little. I dunno. I’m just… urgh… you know how I am with talking about things like this V.’’ His heart sank a little. ‘’But regardless of how it was said, I DID mean it. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you V’’ She brought his hand up and planted a kiss on the back of it. ‘’But how about we try to focus on getting you fixed first? Then you’ll have all the time in the world to catch me off guard.’’  
He smiled, and her words cleansed V of any unease he had. He divided his hand from hers and relocated it to her thigh.

‘’Yeah, let’s do that. Hopefully this Tyrell can get us in the right direction.’’ Said V optimistically.

Panam replied with a nod.

‘’Thank you’’ He said to her as he squeezed her thigh gently. She looked at him, unsure what to say. ‘’I mean it. If it wasn’t for you, I… I think I’d be dead by now. If you hadn’t picked up the holo when I was at Vic’s and came to pick me up…. Urgh …. It scares me to think what I might have done.’’

She smiled compassionately and looked at him.

‘’I think you’re the one I should be thanking V. If you hadn’t come into my life, there are so many things I don’t think I’d have done’’ She hesitated for a moment. ‘’I’d never have re-joined the aldecaldos, dealt with Nash, reconciled with Saul’’. She brought a hand up to the side of V’s face.

‘’…. Fell in love.’’ 

V lifted a hand to meet hers. He didn’t quite know what to say to that, but he didn’t have to say anything. Panam had said all she wanted to say, and her words soothed him.

‘’Ok, looks like we’re getting close’’ She said, refocusing. Derelict buildings lit up by the trucks headlights started to fill the barren landscape as they approached the town, and a rocky knoll became apparent up ahead to the left. She triggered the holo and spoke to Mitch.

‘’Hey, let’s pull over up here, see if we can climb this ridge and get a look at the place before we head in’’ She said.

‘’Yes chief’’ replied Mitch’s voice through a speaker on the dash.

The two trucks pulled up next to the hill and cut out along with the headlights. The heat from the engines dissipated and started to escape through the outline of the hood of the car.  
The four got out of their vehicles and gathered their things. Panam took her Grad sniper rifle and lead them upward to the high ground, the trudging of their footsteps the only sound to fill the otherwise peaceful ambience of the evening. V stuck to the rear, using his Kiroshi optic to monitor the surrounding area as they eventually reached the top of the knoll. At the top, Panam stepped forward, dropped to one knee and brought the optic of her rifle up to her eye. She started to recon the town in front of them.  
The light of the full moon outlined an abandoned settlement of no more than 30 intact buildings nestled inside a small valley. The outskirts disclosed the foundations and ruins of what would have been the rest of the town. The silence as they looked over the ridge was ominous. Mitch and V stepped forward to join Panam surveying the lifeless town. 

‘’Keep a look out will ya Kid?’’ Instructed Mitch, to which Leo nodded in confirmation. He brought his hand to his hip, rested it on the handle of his revolver and assumed an exaggerated cowboy pose as he turned and monitored the area behind the group. Mitch shook his head at him then brought a pair of binoculars up his eyes, whereas V again relied on his Kiroshi optic. The 3 of them spent the next 5 minutes in silence gazing through the magnification of their different optics.

‘’Clocked anything?’’ Asked V eventually. Panam paused before she replied.

‘’Hmmmm… well the town looks abandoned. Can’t see any signs of living, no lights, no vehicles … nothing.’’ She spoke without taking her eye away from her scope. ‘’Can’t see any Arasaka compound either. Fuck.’’

‘’I wouldn’t jump to conclusions just yet’’ retorted Mitch. ‘’Have another look over by the Church’’

V and Panam altered their attention as per Mitch’s instructions. The modest church seemed completely dead just like the rest of the town. 

‘’I can’t see any sign of life Mitch’’ said V.

Mitch chuckled.

‘’It’s not signs of life I’m talkin’ about. Take a closer look at the ground around the Church.’’

V and Panam heeded his instructions, and eventually clocked onto what Mitch was saying. In front of the church in the ground, there were tracks. Fresh tracks, scarred into the earth from what looked to V like tyres. Large tyres. Panam answered before V could.

‘’Tyre tracks. Big ones’’ She said, still not pulling her face away from her scope. ‘’Look fairly fresh too, leading to the back of the church. Although hard to tell from here. Think we’re looking at Raffens?’’

‘’Hard to tell. Could be’’ Mitch replied. ‘’Hard to make out 100% from here in the dark, but looks like tracks from a Kaukaz U4020. It’s a transport vehicle. Soviet made, and fuckin’ big. Me and Scorpion tracked plenty of these when we were Panzerboys in the war. Trust me, I know what their tracks look like.’’

Panam lowered her rifle and thought for a moment.

‘’Well, if you’re right Mitch, then there’s got to be a reason for a vehicle of that size moving in and out of a town like this.’’ She pondered.

Mitch and V agreed with a nod, to which Panam replied with a smile. That smile that knotted up V’s stomach. She stood up, pulled the bolt action back on her rifle to check the round, and thrust it back in with a ‘CLUNK’.

‘’So shall we go and have a closer look then?’’


End file.
